November 2011
32 posts
5 tags
just can't shake it
I’m still in love with the thought of you.
reality’s hard pressed to keep up.
maybe I'll join the masses one day
there are some in this world who aren’t stabbed when they see you smile,
who don’t smell your musky, sun-dried laundry warmth when they hear you sing;
they can listen to Eminem and Relient K without envisioning your dark street, late at night, lit only by car headlights.
our memories aren’t chains anymore.
I’m free,
but I’ll never forget.
all that innocence just fades
and fades
and fades
and fades…
windy, rainy nights in the middle of the sea,
when my heart was broken in a different way
and my variety of loneliness was different, too.
will there come a day when it comes full circle?
you know what I’m counting on:
that one day we’ll see each other in redemption
and be part of that Body that is so much fuller and bigger and better than...
a follow-up
I don’t hate you.
I can’t hate you,
He loves you.
7 tags
angry, for once
mmmmm, sorry, this is pretty ugly. I just…yeah…well, you’ll see:
you took everything from me,
and you’re not cold hearted,
but you are silent.
and that’s just as bad
because it’s like you don’t care, and you never did.
I don’t know anything about you.
I hate that I wasted my time with you,
I hate that I cared
I hate that I sacrificed
I hate...
5 tags
ou es tu?
dear everything I hope and love,
come back to me please.
I am tired of feeling empty
I am tired of feeling desperate
I am tired of being dissatisfied.
sincerely,
the strangest, most awkward person I know.
P.S.
I apologize that everything is approximately 2 lines long. I am writing a book for NaNoWriMo (challenge = 50 000 words written in the month of November!!!) www.nanowrimo.org so all of my thoughts and good words are being put towards that end, and by the time I get to this there isn’t much left. ;)
if you were wondering...
life does go on.
the gap
I have all these lovely, beautiful aspirations of who I could be,
who I hope and believe I will be.
but there is actually so much work and distance between here and there.
4 tags
the quality of life is...very strained.
you are slowly slipping out of the quality of life;
it’s no duller,
nor more brilliant without you.
the fact that there is still a quality of life,
that I am still here -
that is what’s impressive.
4 tags
it's bloody freezing out,
and the weather has influenced my heart.
5 tags
purify
the snow makes everything beautiful,
even our history.
homogenous
wordsandsnow,
lossandbeauty,
lifeandblood,
witandlonely,
meandonlyme.
ugh
smiles in the rain.
there will be a day when I am happy again.
this day =
the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I think every day now is just a nice, fat package with samplings of just about everything this world has to offer;
at some point I am bitter,
I laugh really hard,
I eat too much chocolate,
I receive a pocket call from someone flushing the toilet,
there is good music in the collegium,
I almost fall asleep at school,
I do something awkward,
I think on things...
civil warring
there’s the battle between reason and desire,
and it’s worth questioning why and seeking out answers,
but at the end of the day
I still get a surge of joy at seeing your face,
however ostracized the owner of it is from me,
and a chilly sun on frosted grass still gives me peace.
5 tags
conflict of interest
all the time:
I want to live,
but I want what kills me.
6 tags
laid to rest/waste
to love someone is to build a city,
and the bricks are time and the mortar is blood.
to break up with someone is to demolish that city,
but you can’t take back your tears, your sweat and your blood.
you may only watch them go up in flames.
5 tags
the elephant in the room
how could you have taken up so much room in my heart when your personality is so small and mine so big?
my thoughts felt fat when I was with you,
because I seemed to have so many
and you so few.
the giant that loved the who,
and I shrank to be with you.
but I never truly fit in your world.
I make a better Horton.
you will never think on me and my family as I...
I love you in a way you cannot understand, because every soul is a delight to me. the world is comprised of glittering eyes and the stories that mouths re-make. you were to be the greatest of these, but you could not give - only take. but I wrong you and myself: that is a lie. you did give, and you gave with great grace. but there is a time for both grieving and chimes and neither you knew in its...
imagine me screaming this (IN CAPS)
people of Life,
go for the Prize
He became blind
for the freedom in your eyes.
people of Hope,
hate yourselves no more
a mirror reflects
and it’s an open door.
hope on a night when the sun has set early
and out of the frozen ground,
there dances a single, graceful stem,
all at once fragile and impenetrable.
the day begins,
the day ends.
winter kisses with snowflakes,
winter spits with rain.
the summer scorches,
the summer glows.
but always the reflection grows.
an equation:
every memory has a full circle,
and I have tried to cheat time with a hypotenuse,
but I can’t, cos sin won’t let me.
bahahaha, okay, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. they aren’t even good math puns. what I ACTUALLY wrote for today is above. :P
READY TO RIP SOMETHING IN TWO
honest to God,
will my sadness never go away?
does this melancholy have no end?
I swear, sometimes I care just for the sake of caring.
my heart is adrift and the fire in my eyes has burned out.
why my passion cannot follow suit, I don’t know.
le feu-er
from commencement to conclusion,
I was slowly dying;
burning, to be an example of all things chaotic and lost in this world.
thinking I loved the fire,
and believing in its light alone.
blind as a bat,
charred as the ashes.
I hope one day I may rebuild my home.
shhhh
sleep drags me down,
the walls around are a blanket of sweet, soft rest.
I seek to leave this place aggrieved,
but my Lord thinks not, and best.
In all good time, I hope I’ll find
that in staying I have blessed.
I could handle that.
sunlight on plaid,
people chuckling to themselves,
harmony
and .5 a mark off on my midterm.
_______________
this is a list, not a poem.
I’ve been listening to Coldplay all day, and the only beautiful words in the world are the ones made by Chris Martin’s spectacular vocal chords.
night and mourning in the afternoon
when the rain kisses the sun,
the delicate beams of dusk caressing the road,
polka-dotted from hail,
I believe in tomorrow.
heavy black and lightest blue,
it’s a dance
and a fight
and a promise that beauty has not forsaken me.
threefold, the most unpleasant of pleasant surprises:
your blue, bouncing gait;
that sweet, bitter smell of knowing it will never be the same again
and a...
all that can be said:
one down,
a lifetime to go.
one day at a time.
the unwilling historian
the dream burns,
but reality is far more beautiful.
I mustn’t forget.
I don’t want this history without you,
I don’t want this history at all.
all that glitters is…obnoxiously similar to you.
I was unsuspecting,
but your hands,
the golden, unwitting thieves,
have dug their fingers in
and emerged with nothing I can’t live without.
- but it’s enough.
when I have fears that my words never really...
terror squeaks out between the lines,
my heart pulls away every time.
the power of words:
the power to kill.
the power to heal,
the power to thrill.
and I can’t help but think it ugly
to see such potency housed in me.
and the strongest of all:
to dismantle the soul.
what if it is, that unseeming, unjust,
my heart reveals itself
and crumples to dust?
